Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
