what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
