The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
