A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He? As in you personified your dick?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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