Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
Randomize