I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
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