found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
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