Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
