I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
