You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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