this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
