You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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