Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize