sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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