So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
