do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize