At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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