Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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