He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
