sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Randomize
