You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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