covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
