I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
