mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
