My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
