i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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