Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
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