At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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