I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I could make wine with my vomit
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
