She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
