OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
