I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
