the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
