i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
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