Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
