She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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