The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
