i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Randomize
