where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
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