Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
