I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
