need another drink. this is the easiest way
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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