I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Randomize
