haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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