we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
