My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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