Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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