Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize