She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
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