these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Randomize
