I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you donโt have to recycle anymore ๐๐
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
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