I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
