I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize