We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Randomize
