Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
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